im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
