And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize