so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize