Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize