Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
