just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think people are normalizing furries
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
