he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
