Dude my mom stole all your condoms
high people should be assigned attendants
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Still dying that you shit outside
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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