This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
this hospital has no fireball
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
