She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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