I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
