Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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