Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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