btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
