Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
