i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Sponge bath it is.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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