i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
