my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
