Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
