I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize