you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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