grandma shit on top of the toilet
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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