then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
