why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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