I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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