when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
