There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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