we have officially lost it.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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