porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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