we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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