you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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