just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
