I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
