so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i came on her dog
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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