nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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