quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
