Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
