So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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