I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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