you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
