whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
