He told me they were just razor bumps!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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