So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
