hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
