we should wear snuggies to the strip club
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Randomize
