Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
