It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
