my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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