You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
