He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
