i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
