It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
