it was like eating out sand paper
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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