Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
