we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
