it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
