I'm gonna have a badass scar
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
