apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
