I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize